If you’re anything like me, you always remember your strongest arguments after you are done arguing.  That happens more often than I like when I get the chance to be on shows like Talkline, the state’s largest radio talk show.  It’s in part due to nerves, in parts due to time crunches (you just can’t get everything you want to get into the show, on air), and in part due to strategic efforts to get folks to remember your main points.

So, with that said, here’s some thoughts from this morning’s interview with Hoppy Kercheval as he moderated what was a debate that fizzled with me and Margaret Chapman-Pomponio from WV Free:

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When the definition of marriage is tampered with all rules are out the window.

By Nathan A. Cherry

Martinsburg, W.V. – Maine is preparing to vote on the definition of marriage. The battle in California is heating up again. President Obama has signed the new hates crimes bill, extending protection for homosexuals and transgendered persons. What is next? What can possibly be the next step to further distance this country from its traditional morals and values?

According to most experts the next step is quietly taking place as those involved in “polyamorous” relationships begin to seek legal rights and protections for their unique cultural spin on marriage.

In this consumerism flavored version of marriage any numbers of persons are inter-related with one another, forming a “family” structure known as a “cluster.” The cluster is composed of two men and a woman, two women and a man, three men and a woman, three women and three men. There doesn’t seem to be any rules to the structure of the cluster except that all parties agree.

But what is the point behind this fringe group of people that seek to be involved with many partners at one time? An ABC news article released earlier this year says:

“The polyamory movement grew out of the communes of the 1960s and the swingers of the 1970s, but today, with gay marriage legal in six states, some say their cause should be next.”

So is it really just about “free love” and switching partners as often as you like without consequence? Those points seem awfully shallow if legalization of group marriage and full recognition and protection are the ultimate goal. As Glenn Stanton, director of family formation studies at Focus on the Family said, “Is it really a good idea to open this Pandora’s Box?”

One proponent of polyamory or, as some have termed it “ethical nonmonogamy” said “We have rights to love any way we want unless we are harming other people…we have a right to be and do and say whatever is our full expression, and this to me is a civil right.”

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As you should know by now, we are proudly associated with Focus on the Family, including Focus.  Yesterday, my friend Tom Minnery, Senior VP for Government and Public Policy at Focus on the Family sent a letter to the United States House of Representatives, urging the congressmen and women to carefully state their opposition to the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, commonly called “ENDA.”

Citizenlink.com reports:

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As you may know by now, yesterday, Kansas abortionist George Tiller was brutally murdered while on his way to church Sunday morning.  Sadly, whether or not his murderer is connected to the pro-life movement – and it appears that he is not – his rogue and violent actions will setback the dialog on abortion in this country.

We at the Family Policy Council of West Virginia categorically denounce the life-taking violence witnessed in the death of Mr. Tiller.  There can be no justification for vigilante justice and we will not excuse it.  We continue to stand for policies that embrace the sanctity of human life and will work peacefully to ensure progress toward that goal.

At the same time, we offer our humble condolences and prayers to the now grieving Tiller family.

For reference, below are the statements released by groups associated with the Family Policy Council of West Virginia:

Dr. James Dobson, founder and former Chairman of the Board, Focus on the Family:

“We are shocked by the murder of George Tiller, and we categorically condemn the act of vigilantism and violence that took his life. America has from its foundation respected the rule of law, by which every citizen is guaranteed life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Those constitutional rights are forfeited only when crimes have been committed, and the perpetrator is charged and found guilty by a jury of his or her peers in a court of law.

“Tiller recently faced serious charges related to the killing of babies in violation of the law, by the most grotesque procedures administered without anesthetics or compassion.  We profoundly regretted the outcome of his legal case, believing the doctor had the blood of countless babies on his hands.  Nevertheless, he was exonerated by the court and declared “not guilty” in the eyes of the law.  That is our system, and we honor it.

“Our condolences are extended to the Tiller family.  The person or persons responsible for his death should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.”

Mr. Tony Perkins, President, The Family Research Council:

“We are stunned at today’s news. As Christians we pray and look toward the end of all violence and for the saving of souls, not the taking of human life. George Tiller was a man who we publicly sought to stop through legal and peaceful means. We strongly condemn the actions taken today by this vigilante killer and we pray for the Tiller family and for the nation that we might once again be a nation that values all human, both born and unborn.”

An Interview on Family and Marriage: Some thoughts from the Focus on the Family Camp.

By Nathan A. Cherry

                Recently I had a chance to chat by phone with Jenny Tyree, the Marriage Analyst at Focus on the Family. We specifically discussed same-sex marriage as this is the “hot button” issue in media and society at this moment.

                Focus on the Family, and more specifically James Dobson, have been center stage in the media recently as the FCC announced it will induct Dr. Dobson into the radio hall of fame. Outrage from the gay and lesbian community poured due to Dr. Dobson’s strong stance against homosexuality and same-sex marriage.

                To read articles and blogs posted in opposition to Dr. Dobson’s induction into the radio hall of fame please click here, or here.

                We hear so much in the media that seems, in my opinion biased (anyone surprised?) regarding the issue. I wanted to hear from Ms. Tyree what her research and studies on the issue had produced. So the first question I asked was what, according to her research is the main goal of the Gay and Lesbian community, specifically in regards to marriage.

Answer: “Ultimately they are seeking social approval. They talk about rights and benefits, but the status that is given to heterosexual couples and the social approval they receive is what they are seeking.”

                As we discussed this further she explained that “they won’t get that social approval from many people because the gay and lesbian community is going about it the wrong way.” By this she is referring to going to activist judges and seeking the overturning of laws by side-stepping the will of the people. And the vandalizing of property, intimidation at the work place, firing of people for their views, all the things we are seeing out in California at this time.

Read this article or this article for news out of California regarding the vandalizing of churches that helped support and pass Proposition 8.

                But Ms. Tyree also acknowledged that we can all empathize with same-sex couples who are seeking this social approval because in reality “we all want approval.” Certainly from the time we are kids we seek approval at the various stages in our lives. One of the most profound events which culminate that approval is our wedding.

                Next I asked Ms. Tyree what the broad implications for Christian, or an even just traditional family was if same-sex marriage were to be legalized.

Answer: “The first is children. If marriage is redefined there will be kids deprived of a mother and a father and biological parents. And the second is religious liberty. The 1^st Amendment right of freedom of religion will be brought to a head with legislation giving special rights to homosexuals. This is where even liberal scholars believe that in the direct conflict of homosexual “marriage” and the expression of a religious view that opposes gay “marriage,” that religious liberties will lose. That’s when it becomes illegal to give your opinion or to share your religious views.”

                I have to be honest; through medical advances such as sperm donation and artificial insemination we could presumably see an entire generation where a child’s uncle is actually his or her father. What could information like that do to a child’s psychological development?

                Next I wanted to know what Focus on the Family was doing to combat media bias and cultural stigma in the gay and lesbian community that Christians are all ‘homophobic,’ or ‘gay-bashers.’ How are they reaching out and embracing homosexuals?

Answer: “The Biggest thing we do is our Love Won Out ministry, which seeks to inform friends and family as to what could have led a person to this lifestyle.”

A brief description of Love Won Out from the Focus on the Family Website:

Focus on the Family is promoting the truth that change is possible for those who experience same-sex attractions — a message routinely silenced today. We want people to know that individuals don’t have to be gay and that a homosexual identity is something that can be overcome. That’s why we’ve developed a one-day conference for those seeking answers on this often confusing and divisive issue. Whether you have a gay friend or family member, are an educator, pastor or concerned citizen — or even self-identify as gay — Love Won Out will inform, inspire and offer you hope. For more information: click here. Or, go to www.lovewonout.com.

                Ms. Tyree and Focus on the Family, as so many others, believe that homosexuality is not genetic, or something you are simply born with. Citing God as the Creator of all human beings, and homosexuality as a sinful behavior, along with the fact that there exists testimony from so many “ex-homosexuals,” Focus on the Family seeks to help those struggling with unwanted same-sex attractions and their family members and friends by providing a biblical understanding of the issue and helping to connect them with local support ministries through Focus’ relationship with Exodus International.

                As well, she said, that Focus on the Family tries to point out the “inadequacy of the other sides arguments.” She mentions the fact that “Dr. Dobson has never said that he hated a gay or lesbian person. The more people dig and find out what we say the more they will see how much we love people.”  

                In talking with Ms. Tyree I gained a sense that she truly cares for people, all people, regardless of any social or religious differences. And no doubt Focus on the Family embraces the same kind of love towards people.

                We can see in the Bible where Jesus did not agree with every person He ran into. But He loved them all. He even asked for forgiveness for those who placed Him on the cross.

                That kind of love has the ability to transcend any barrier and break down the walls that exist between people of opposing viewpoints. Jenny Tyree and the folks at Focus on the Family are trying very hard to break down those walls and reach out to people of all walks of life, with many and varied needs, with love.

                My thanks to Ms. Tyree and the good people at Focus on the Family for their work and many years of service to thousands throughout the United States and the world.

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